TESTIMONIES

SAVANNAH HAIGHT

Seven years ago this August, God changed my life forever. It was in another beautiful home nestled into the Rockies with near strangers, that I knew the Lord was tugging on my heart and asking for my life. “If you love me, you will obey me” were the words that broke me. Despite the fragile state I was in, carrying a bruised and battered heart, and terrified of committing to love again — I made the choice to let go, and give into Him. Best. Decision. Ever. 2016 to 2023 has been a transformational, foundational journey for me.

This last retreat was a time for me to reflect on all God has done in me, and truly, stand in amazement at the life He’s brought me into. In the 2016 Colorado Retreat, I was a participant, on the receiving end of all the love, service, and care poured out by those hosting. Although I wasn’t fully surrendered to Jesus yet, I was curious and hopeful of Him and this “discipleship” offered by His church.

At that time, I had no job, no drivers license, no future or ambition to move forward in life. The only thing I truly had was this lingering despondency, stemming from deep roots of pain, anger, and sadness. As Pastor and Mami shared in their transformation and healing sessions, these were things that God took time to draw out of me, heal, and transform into something better. God transformed my heart by first healing it, and showing me where I had misplaced my love and affections in the sinking sand of this world and other lost, sinful people.

He transformed my mind by His life-giving, lie-shattering Word. He transformed my life by revealing to me just how much I mattered to Him, and giving me a purpose far greater than I could ever dream of. God has altered every single aspect of my life, and yet, He is still working in me. Everyday, I am clay in His hands — everyday, He is shaping and working something new in me. I’m only a few years into this process, but I can testify to the transformational power that comes from walking in Christ. With this retreat, I felt like I was stepping into a new, deeper level of servanthood. While I was still a participant in everything, and receiving so much through our sessions, worship moments, and activities, I had a new perspective and feeling of ownership in all that was happening. I’m no longer on the outskirts, skeptical and hesitant to be drawn in — I’m fully immersed.

The people I am with are no longer strangers, they are extensions of myself — my family, those who are most precious to me, who understand and know me so deeply. I am no longer questioning discipleship, I am a disciple — and I am discipling also. God is building me to be a facilitator of His work, by any means necessary. He is building me into a genuine servant, one that loves the Lord with all my mind, soul, might, and strength — and others as myself. God is building me to be passionate and zealous for His name and kingdom, someone that is uncompromising in her consistency, connection, and faithfulness. God is building me to be prayer warrior, one that is fearless and fervent in her covering of those around her at all times, but especially in anxious and uncertain circumstances or moments.

Not only is He building me up, He is also decreasing me day by day — chiseling away at my flesh and molding what’s left into His likeness. It’s an amazing, painfully beautiful process to be in His hands. As we head into this season of ministry, I feel strengthened and empowered in the Lord. I am so excited to see what He has in store for us, and pray that the work He’s begun in our Gen Z crew continues in young lives across the Heartland. Gen Z — thank you for being so open to the move of God, and allowing Him into your heart in whatever unique way that was for you this last retreat. You may not know it, but your faith and boldness challenges and strengthens many — including my own. My prayer for each of you is that you would continue to build your lives on the solid rock of Christ, so that when you look back on your journey, you can be in awe and wonder at what He’s done.

Truly, much pain and heartache will be spared in doing so. There are many lost and hurting souls which are waiting for a generation like you to rise up in faith, share the captive-freeing and heart-mending gospel, and witness the miraculous transformation God’s done in your lives. I can’t wait to see how God uses you for His glory and for the good of our nation.

OMAR PAS

During this retreat, it took humility and a surrendered heart to God to admit that my whole life has been filled with fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of feeling emotions, fear of being betrayed, and so on. Satan always screaming in my head: FEAR! FEAR! FEAR! Just constant arrows of doubt and anxiety being thrown my way. There have been times when my anxiety would get so bad that it would feel as if I’ve been whacked repeatedly on the back of my head with a baseball bat.

Didn’t feel this anxiety once on the retreat. Before the retreat, I was doubting God quite heavily. I was doubting His power, His goodness, and even His existence. I’m sorry if that is hard to read but it’s the sad truth. I was wrestling with God about the circumstances in my life. I disagreed with God with what was going on. I refused to believe what I was experiencing and refused to accept that this was my life. Why did I have to pay thousands of dollars to break a stupid lease? Why did anyone care if I quit my job? Why did I have to be involved in a car crash?

These were questions that I had and thought God couldn’t answer. “Why are you fearful? Oh you of little faith?” Out of all the things that the Lord spoke to me, this verse stood out to me the most. At the first sight of the mountains, I was in tears (and no It wasn’t because I nearly pooped my pants during that time). What a gentle reminder the mountains were for God to show me that I am only dust. It was God saying “You’re doubting me? Okay, that’s cute. Watch this.” Within the first day, God took care of the lease situation and gave me a new job. He took me on a hike to the mountains with my brothers to show me sights and beauty that I thought only existed in the inner depths of my soul. He reassured me that without Him, I truly am nothing. And I’m so thankful that He did. God also answered a prayer of mine that I’ve been praying for since I moved into E2. He finally gave me the friends I’ve been asking for. I begged for friends that were my age who were like-minded and had the same zeal for Christ. Growing up, although I had tight friends, I always felt excluded from many things. I couldn’t drink because my conscious wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t “enjoy” smoking because my conscious wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t go out to bars because my conscious wouldn’t let me. And EVERY single time I fought my conscious, I would lose something. Sin has consequences. I lost the best friends I ever had for acting on an impulse, for giving in to my flesh. Having experienced this pain, I begged the Lord for forgiveness and for new Godly friends.

Unbeknownst to me of when God would answer this prayer, He decided to reveal His answer during this retreat. Every moment I shared with my fellow Gen Zers meant so much to me. You guys (Gen Zers) have no idea how I longed for this time to come. And I pray that we can walk together in humility, that we may surrender our pride and listen to the Godly wisdom that lies in the lives of the generations before us. Starting in Des Moines with the “I stand for Jesus crusade”, I began to see walls of insecurities crumble, spiritual barriers being broken, mountains being moved, and fear disappearing. An unfathomable confidence was built in me during this retreat and I have to thank every single one of you guys because you all played a part in this. Pastor, Mami, and Sunny’s messages from God were so needed and powerful. I now stand in gratitude.

I came in to this retreat confused and angry, BUT GOD made me leave with confidence and full of His love. Who now can stop me from experiencing the goodness of Jesus except for myself? Oh God open up their eyes and soften up their hearts, their hardened hearts. So that they too may one day experience Your transformation, Your healing, and Your restoration. Love you all.

BRIANA LEAL

For me this retreat was not a vacation from reality and responsibility, but a life changing experience with God and His people. Before going, I dwelled on the “what God breaks down, He heals and builds back up for a great purpose” that was listed on the website. I knew immediately when pondering this that God wanted to build in me a spirit and heart of courage. I’ve always lived a life of fear. Since my first memory, fear is all I knew. The first thing I can remember of my childhood is the moment where we discovered my father was going to prison for a long time. From that moment, my life was fear built on top of fear. I feared people coming in and out of my life. I feared trusting people. I feared being hurt again. I even feared living, death felt like an easier option. The theme of this retreat felt like it was made just for me: Transformation, healing, restoration and thriving. (Sorry if this is long, but I want to share how each topic impacted me.)

Transformation: In these 5 years of my walk with God, He has broken down a lot of those lies of the enemy. When I first encountered Him in worship, I was forever transformed. From that moment I was no longer a slave to sin, but now a slave to Christ. The spiritual transformation that took place gave me a new DNA. I went from being a hopeless, depressed and borderline addict, to having a heart that hoped in the Lord, freed from all addictions. God had saved me from this life, and gave me a heart to help others experience this too. But fear usually got in the way of this. Healing: I have experienced a lot of healing. Before Christ, it wouldn’t have been possible for me to have conversations with many of you. Especially the men. At the beginning of my transformation, God has used Pastor and Sunny in a way to heal my heart from the fears of men, and showed me how different godly men are. I had never experienced that before giving my life to Christ.

I used to live in a survivors mode, just trying to get to the next day. I didn’t want to build deep connections, because I feared being hurt so much. God has brought so much healing, that on this retreat I never felt unsafe once, and I felt present in every moment. Truly this is such a gift. Restoration: This is where the website snippet comes to life. What does God want to restore? Because I know there’s been brokenness, and healing but how can He transform this to a greater purpose? I knew He wanted to build courage in me, but it felt impossible. Like a losing battle I’ve experienced before.

But something changed Thursday.

From the moment the morning session began, I was in tears. From gen-z and the Morlans sharing, to heading into the worship night I felt the Lords presence so heavily. When mami asked me to share my testimony. I felt like I had 2 options. 1- continue in my old habits of fear, self pity and ask her to ask “someone better” or 2- walk in what God has called me to be. A woman of courage, who knows her identity in Christ and who has experienced restoration. My flesh was yanking at me to chose option 1, but I chose to say “yes” to God and walk in courage, even if I wasn’t feeling courageous. In that moment immediately I felt the Holy Spirit wash over me and I felt peace like I’ve never experienced before. An overwhelming amount of peace that came from the Lord only. I’ve never been able to share my testimony with no fear before until that night. I experienced what it meant to “be built up for a great purpose”.

At that moment Thursday, the lives that had the possibility to be impacted superseded every desire of my flesh to run. Thinking back to Sunny’s talk that morning he stated that “godly restoration is a choice.” And I felt that. I chose to walk in courage and that is when that final chain link broke. I feel so free, changed eternally from this week. That now, I can experience thriving in a new way. Hurt people, hurt people and healed people can bring people to healing in Christ. This week I experienced healing in a place that felt impossible, but God touched that hidden, locked box and broke it open.

All I’ve ever wanted my life to be is a life dedicated to Christ, committed to glorifying Him in all things. Now, the peace I feel is unmatched. Lastly, this week God reminded me how much I matter to Him and those around me. From being entrusted to care for Karina and Tyler’s birthday card, I was reminded of how valued I am to His Kingdom. It’s truly a gift and honor to be used by Him, especially in this generation that He’s birthed such a burden for.

Although the activities were very enjoyable, I feel the sessions just spoke to me in profound ways and were my favorite part of the retreat. They allowed me to reflect on my 5 years of walking with Christ, and encouraged me to protect what God has done. I think those has set such a foundation too for what is to come this year, because of the transformation, healing and restoration that has taken place, we can put it into action for this upcoming revive me season and use this passion to help other’s experience what we’ve experienced. Hurt people, hurt people and healed people can bring people to healing in Christ. At the beginning of this year I said that God had finished solidifying the foundation of my life and that now I felt He was wanting to build on it. I think courage was necessary for Him to build in me so that I could be used to build others. I’ve experienced transformation, healing, restoration and now I’m thriving in Him.

EMILY REED

On the 3rd day of the retreat during devotion time I wrote in my journal, “God I want to hear from you. I don’t want to go home back to Iowa without hearing from you. You’re my favorite person and I just want to be close to you. Show me how to expirience a deeper connection with you. You’re the breath inside my lungs. Direct me and guide me.” Right after I wrote this I read Pastors devo on the well chat. It was based off of Ezekiel 3:1-3. It’s basically saying that God’s words are more than just ink on paper. They are alive and powerful. God wants us to ingest them just as he told Ezekiel to litteraly eat his words. “And He said to me, “Son of man, feed your belly, and fill your stomach with this scroll that I give you.”

So I ate, and it was in my mouth like honey in sweetness.” I remember feeling so connected to God in that moment, like I was eating his words just like Ezekiel had done. It’s going to take discipline and obedience but I am not letting myself fall back to old ways of putting off spending time with God. Even having that hour each morning was so powerful and I am not going to let that go now. ‭‭

Another thing I realized is that there is still a lot of healing that needs to be done in me. Wounds from my father not being in my life, wounds from my mother, wounds from old friends and so on. Something that Mami said in one of the sessions is that God wants to prove to the world, through you, that he is the healer of the broken-hearted. I need to let God heal these deep wounds and to take responsibility for my own life so that others can see the transformation that God can do in our hearts and minds.